You’re so very welcome, Beth. Having our feelings and experiences validated makes such a positive impact! I’m so glad to know that my thoughts provided you with this encouragement. Reach out anytime time… I’m happy to talk or just listen.🥰
Hello Tirzah, this is quite the read! I absolutely love the details. You're spot on. Be gentle with yourself, we're all doing the best we can as introverts. I fully resonate, so thanks for sharing. All the best and wishing you love ✨️
Poor thing, I know what that’s like. I have a good book list on this, if you’re interested. Read some bad books on the subject that a few millennials shouldn’t have published - nice to have self-publishing as an option, but it makes good literature more difficult to find. Please feel free to reach out
Hard to say just one. Do you have a specific interest / focus?
Neurodivergent wise, there’s a good book called LAZINESS DOES NOT EXIST
Burnout wise - I’d have to think on it. My sense is stay away from the “how to” books
Just finished BEYOND ANXIETY and think of it as required reading
If you’re struggling with perfectionism, procrastination, overwhelm, productivity, anxiety / overthinking, fear, creativity, etc. then I can narrow it down
A great place to start if you’re really well and truly in burnout is Eckhart Tolle. Either POWER OF NOW or A NEW EARTH. He’ll get you out of anxiety - his podcasts are great as well
Productivity is a big struggle for me lately. My time management has never been spectacular but it’s been awful recently. My sense of overwhelm too… I feel like I’m in a perpetual state of fight or flight.
You’re definitely not alone, Brian. It can be tough to piece together all of the puzzle pieces that make us who we are. I’m so glad this resonated with you☺️
Thank you so much, Barry. I can tell you from first hand experience that your wife needs your understanding and patience. These are two of the best ways to support your introverted partner. I’m certain your wife appreciates this greatly and appreciates you!
My wife, who is an introvert and a scientist, is often immersed in her work which is important to her. And that work can be draining mentally and emotionally leading her to need time alone to recoup and rebalance. It’s hard at times to acknowledge this and not feel you’re being ignored. Your discussion of this really broke through to me. I think that men, particularly, need to acknowledge and understand the needs of an introvert and the importance of work to a woman’s identity and place in the world.
You are so very welcome! I’m so happy that it resonated. Having people around who understand our struggles and lift one another up makes such a big difference on our emotional well being! Feel free to reach out anytime. Wishing you love, strength, and healing. 🩷
Thanks for writing this, Tirzah. So many people have the wrong definition of introverted. The part about “walking on eggshells” was especially insightful. After teaching middle/high school for five years, my nervous system was shot too. 😔
I’m sorry I took you down that traumatic rabbit hole!! It definitely gets better but it’s also that trade off—by the time they’re mature they’re grown and I can’t even think about that with my 2 littlest “babies” (13&10 lol)!
Oh my goodness, Moorea! I can’t even imagine teaching middle schoolers… let alone for years. That age group is rough. Boys at that age just act like everything is a big joke and it’s seriously the WORST age for girls. 7th grade was terrible for me with cliques and gossip… but watching my girls go through it is even worst. My older daughter is very type A—so many times, she was the mean girl at that age—but she took her share of punches too. My middle daughter is in 7th grade this year. She is much more sensitive than the oldest. Not only that, I feel like she’s often the child who gets left out. Then at home, I’m dealing with anger or tears because of it. I still have one more girl to go through it and I’m just praying I make it out alive! Just kidding but also kind of not!😆
My son, on the other hand, turned 24 yesterday and STILL has the same group of friends since we moved here when he was 6. So boys are easier in that regard BUT man… the broken things in and around the house, the broken bones, the dumb stuff he did like ramping his bike of a boat dock into the lake. Oh—and the cocky attitude. I really wasn’t sure I’d make it through his adolescence alive but somehow I managed and he’s a wonderful human now but—WOOF—kids that age can be absolute nightmares!
Many kudos to you for being able to teach classrooms full of them for years!! It truly takes a special kind of person to have the patience for that!😊
Oh gosh, this sent me on an unpleasant trip down memory lane. 😆🤣😂 You’ve sure got your hands full, Tirzah. I wish I could tell you it gets better, but I’ve never been in your shoes. Your vulnerability undoubtedly helps your readers feel less alone.
Ugh, burnout is such a rough experience. As an introvert, I know it all too well. Wishing you much space and time for rest and recuperation. Thank you for using your energy to put together such a helpful collection of information and resources. 💚
I have a lot of friends and family who have opposing views. Our community is pretty right-aligned. It never bothered me with any of the other presidencies and even the first time Trump was elected, I gave them the benefit of the doubt for not knowing. But this time, I am really struggling with it.
I agree, it feels harder this time. I try to remind myself that division and conflict is part of the strategy being used, but it’s hard as a sensitive person to feel that disconnection. In my best moments, I focus just on myself and what I’m doing, instead of getting judgmental about other people, but that’s a hard stance to maintain.
Thank you! And I fully agree with advocating for more humane systems. Everything that is going on in our US government, has me upset and stressed out. As a highly sensitive person, I feel it so deeply. My husband has the same political views but he is somehow able to just box up his feelings about it and carry on. That has been incredibly difficult for me.
It’s awful here! I’m glad you and your husband are aligned (at least that’s not a stressor, too), but it is hard when we don’t express/experience things the same way as our partners. I hope you find some friends or online supports for coping with politics (and you’re welcome to reach out to me anytime). 🤗
I think what’s so difficult about that for me is that right now I am working for 3 different companies, just trying to keep us afloat financially. (For backstory, my husband’s small business took a nosedive 4 years ago, due to Covid. Also, he was gambling when he wasn’t working. We ended up taking out a couple of loans and I was putting groceries on and paying bills with credit cards. Even once business began to pick up, our debt had spiraled. Last year, I signed up for national debt relief so the payments are smaller but they’re still much higher than what would be comfortable.)
It’s frustrating because we’re barely making ends meet but I’m beyond exhausted when I’m home and often achy because they’re all cleaning jobs. Which also means that even if I have a day off, I have not had motivation to do much, especially when it comes to cleaning my house and that mess further contributes to my anxiety.
It sounds like your whole family is under incredible pressure. I think there’s a danger in thinking about burnout as something that’s completely within our control. It sounds like there are some systemic issues that are having a direct impact on your ability to stay afloat financially and create a sense of stability and safety for yourselves. Those issues aren’t your fault, but you’re stuck trying to find your way through them. So yes, do what you can about the burnout factors that are within your control, but also give yourself some compassion for the big picture things that you can’t directly change. Your situation is a great example of why, if we’re able (and I’m not saying you are right now), we need to be advocating for more humane systems. It’s too much to expect people to get through just on their individual choices. I hope things shift for you in positive ways soon, but in the meantime, try to be gentle with yourself, too. You deserve that! 💚
For me, starting to plan to make small changes in my life always helps (even before the change takes place). It could be as simple as setting a time to go hiking or write in my journal. Knowing that I’m not going to be stuck in a situation doing the same thing forever makes such a mental difference, even if the big picture changes (say, a job that’s a bad fit) might take a lot longer.
I can and do attend parties but I’ve always clammed up in those situations. I feel too uncomfortable and awkward. In college (which I couldn’t even finish because of extreme social anxiety) I am ashamed to say that I drank far too much in attempt to cope. When I realized it was becoming a problem and I cut way back. I remember being at a party with a ton of people; a good mix of friends and strangers. I was fine for the first half hour or so and then I hit that wall. I was suddenly aware of myself and drowning in my awkwardness. I was standing on a deck and one of my roommates approached me and asked if I was okay. She commented “you just look so lost”. This was well over a decade before I had any sense of why I felt so different but she saw it. When I began learning about these things, I stopped trying to push the boundaries. I stopped attending most functions. I have lost a lot of friends—sort of—it’s more like my backing off led to growing apart from people. It made me sad initially, but it was helpful. Those who I’m closest with, I opened up to and though some don’t understand, I have more meaningful friendships with the few people I trust most.
Hi Sara! I definitely have good, bad, and mediocre days but right now I’m feeling pretty good. I hope that you are as well. Thank you so much for reading and reaching out! Also, I just wanted you to know that if you ever need to talk or need encouragement, I am always happy to listen.
And yes now that you've granted me the permission to reach out to you then def i'll reach out to you and make you listen to my endless complains about life and stuff whenever it'll get messy 😜
As a fellow introvert, very validating! Thank you for putting this out there!❤️
You’re so very welcome, Beth. Having our feelings and experiences validated makes such a positive impact! I’m so glad to know that my thoughts provided you with this encouragement. Reach out anytime time… I’m happy to talk or just listen.🥰
Hello Tirzah, this is quite the read! I absolutely love the details. You're spot on. Be gentle with yourself, we're all doing the best we can as introverts. I fully resonate, so thanks for sharing. All the best and wishing you love ✨️
Thank you so much, Anna!
Wishing you so much love as well!!🥰
Poor thing, I know what that’s like. I have a good book list on this, if you’re interested. Read some bad books on the subject that a few millennials shouldn’t have published - nice to have self-publishing as an option, but it makes good literature more difficult to find. Please feel free to reach out
Thank you… what is the book you recommend?☺️
Hard to say just one. Do you have a specific interest / focus?
Neurodivergent wise, there’s a good book called LAZINESS DOES NOT EXIST
Burnout wise - I’d have to think on it. My sense is stay away from the “how to” books
Just finished BEYOND ANXIETY and think of it as required reading
If you’re struggling with perfectionism, procrastination, overwhelm, productivity, anxiety / overthinking, fear, creativity, etc. then I can narrow it down
A great place to start if you’re really well and truly in burnout is Eckhart Tolle. Either POWER OF NOW or A NEW EARTH. He’ll get you out of anxiety - his podcasts are great as well
That’s a good place to start. Hope that helps
Productivity is a big struggle for me lately. My time management has never been spectacular but it’s been awful recently. My sense of overwhelm too… I feel like I’m in a perpetual state of fight or flight.
Tirzah, thank you for writing this. It actually has helped me understand myself better, which I don’t know if I ever have.
You’re definitely not alone, Brian. It can be tough to piece together all of the puzzle pieces that make us who we are. I’m so glad this resonated with you☺️
I love What I think vs. What I say.
Thank you!! It’s a pretty spot-on depiction of how my brain functions! Haha!
You nailed it. Your post helped me understand myself and others better. Thank you.
Thank you so much, Barry. I can tell you from first hand experience that your wife needs your understanding and patience. These are two of the best ways to support your introverted partner. I’m certain your wife appreciates this greatly and appreciates you!
Hi Barry! I’m so happy that my words resonated with you. Feel free to reach out any time!☺️
My wife, who is an introvert and a scientist, is often immersed in her work which is important to her. And that work can be draining mentally and emotionally leading her to need time alone to recoup and rebalance. It’s hard at times to acknowledge this and not feel you’re being ignored. Your discussion of this really broke through to me. I think that men, particularly, need to acknowledge and understand the needs of an introvert and the importance of work to a woman’s identity and place in the world.
this so describes me! i had no way to put it into words. thank you
Hi Angela!
You are so very welcome! I’m so happy that it resonated. Having people around who understand our struggles and lift one another up makes such a big difference on our emotional well being! Feel free to reach out anytime. Wishing you love, strength, and healing. 🩷
Thanks for writing this, Tirzah. So many people have the wrong definition of introverted. The part about “walking on eggshells” was especially insightful. After teaching middle/high school for five years, my nervous system was shot too. 😔
Awe! I hope so🥰
I’m sorry I took you down that traumatic rabbit hole!! It definitely gets better but it’s also that trade off—by the time they’re mature they’re grown and I can’t even think about that with my 2 littlest “babies” (13&10 lol)!
Oh my goodness, Moorea! I can’t even imagine teaching middle schoolers… let alone for years. That age group is rough. Boys at that age just act like everything is a big joke and it’s seriously the WORST age for girls. 7th grade was terrible for me with cliques and gossip… but watching my girls go through it is even worst. My older daughter is very type A—so many times, she was the mean girl at that age—but she took her share of punches too. My middle daughter is in 7th grade this year. She is much more sensitive than the oldest. Not only that, I feel like she’s often the child who gets left out. Then at home, I’m dealing with anger or tears because of it. I still have one more girl to go through it and I’m just praying I make it out alive! Just kidding but also kind of not!😆
My son, on the other hand, turned 24 yesterday and STILL has the same group of friends since we moved here when he was 6. So boys are easier in that regard BUT man… the broken things in and around the house, the broken bones, the dumb stuff he did like ramping his bike of a boat dock into the lake. Oh—and the cocky attitude. I really wasn’t sure I’d make it through his adolescence alive but somehow I managed and he’s a wonderful human now but—WOOF—kids that age can be absolute nightmares!
Many kudos to you for being able to teach classrooms full of them for years!! It truly takes a special kind of person to have the patience for that!😊
Oh gosh, this sent me on an unpleasant trip down memory lane. 😆🤣😂 You’ve sure got your hands full, Tirzah. I wish I could tell you it gets better, but I’ve never been in your shoes. Your vulnerability undoubtedly helps your readers feel less alone.
Glad I found you and your work. Thanks for writing !
You’re very welcome! I’m so glad that my writing and experiences resonate with you. Thank you so much for reading and for your encouragement!☺️
Ugh, burnout is such a rough experience. As an introvert, I know it all too well. Wishing you much space and time for rest and recuperation. Thank you for using your energy to put together such a helpful collection of information and resources. 💚
Thank you!! I will gladly take you up on that! 🥰
I have a lot of friends and family who have opposing views. Our community is pretty right-aligned. It never bothered me with any of the other presidencies and even the first time Trump was elected, I gave them the benefit of the doubt for not knowing. But this time, I am really struggling with it.
Please do!
I agree, it feels harder this time. I try to remind myself that division and conflict is part of the strategy being used, but it’s hard as a sensitive person to feel that disconnection. In my best moments, I focus just on myself and what I’m doing, instead of getting judgmental about other people, but that’s a hard stance to maintain.
Thank you! And I fully agree with advocating for more humane systems. Everything that is going on in our US government, has me upset and stressed out. As a highly sensitive person, I feel it so deeply. My husband has the same political views but he is somehow able to just box up his feelings about it and carry on. That has been incredibly difficult for me.
It’s awful here! I’m glad you and your husband are aligned (at least that’s not a stressor, too), but it is hard when we don’t express/experience things the same way as our partners. I hope you find some friends or online supports for coping with politics (and you’re welcome to reach out to me anytime). 🤗
That makes a lot of sense.
I think what’s so difficult about that for me is that right now I am working for 3 different companies, just trying to keep us afloat financially. (For backstory, my husband’s small business took a nosedive 4 years ago, due to Covid. Also, he was gambling when he wasn’t working. We ended up taking out a couple of loans and I was putting groceries on and paying bills with credit cards. Even once business began to pick up, our debt had spiraled. Last year, I signed up for national debt relief so the payments are smaller but they’re still much higher than what would be comfortable.)
It’s frustrating because we’re barely making ends meet but I’m beyond exhausted when I’m home and often achy because they’re all cleaning jobs. Which also means that even if I have a day off, I have not had motivation to do much, especially when it comes to cleaning my house and that mess further contributes to my anxiety.
It sounds like your whole family is under incredible pressure. I think there’s a danger in thinking about burnout as something that’s completely within our control. It sounds like there are some systemic issues that are having a direct impact on your ability to stay afloat financially and create a sense of stability and safety for yourselves. Those issues aren’t your fault, but you’re stuck trying to find your way through them. So yes, do what you can about the burnout factors that are within your control, but also give yourself some compassion for the big picture things that you can’t directly change. Your situation is a great example of why, if we’re able (and I’m not saying you are right now), we need to be advocating for more humane systems. It’s too much to expect people to get through just on their individual choices. I hope things shift for you in positive ways soon, but in the meantime, try to be gentle with yourself, too. You deserve that! 💚
Thank you, Lori. I’m sorry that you’ve experienced it as well. What helped you get through it?
For me, starting to plan to make small changes in my life always helps (even before the change takes place). It could be as simple as setting a time to go hiking or write in my journal. Knowing that I’m not going to be stuck in a situation doing the same thing forever makes such a mental difference, even if the big picture changes (say, a job that’s a bad fit) might take a lot longer.
I can and do attend parties but I’ve always clammed up in those situations. I feel too uncomfortable and awkward. In college (which I couldn’t even finish because of extreme social anxiety) I am ashamed to say that I drank far too much in attempt to cope. When I realized it was becoming a problem and I cut way back. I remember being at a party with a ton of people; a good mix of friends and strangers. I was fine for the first half hour or so and then I hit that wall. I was suddenly aware of myself and drowning in my awkwardness. I was standing on a deck and one of my roommates approached me and asked if I was okay. She commented “you just look so lost”. This was well over a decade before I had any sense of why I felt so different but she saw it. When I began learning about these things, I stopped trying to push the boundaries. I stopped attending most functions. I have lost a lot of friends—sort of—it’s more like my backing off led to growing apart from people. It made me sad initially, but it was helpful. Those who I’m closest with, I opened up to and though some don’t understand, I have more meaningful friendships with the few people I trust most.
Hey there 👋 how you doin' hope you're good now...
Hi Sara! I definitely have good, bad, and mediocre days but right now I’m feeling pretty good. I hope that you are as well. Thank you so much for reading and reaching out! Also, I just wanted you to know that if you ever need to talk or need encouragement, I am always happy to listen.
Glad to hear you're feeling good 😊
And yes now that you've granted me the permission to reach out to you then def i'll reach out to you and make you listen to my endless complains about life and stuff whenever it'll get messy 😜